Car, parking spaces

Seriously, if you take up more than one space in the parking lot you better not be driving a taurus. No offense to ppl driving low end cars, as I do, yet let's face is just cause you have a neon on 22s* does not mean you should take up two spots. Also, I understand that you parked further away, still two spots is a bit excessive. I am pretty sure the lines are painted in the parking lots so that your car fits between the lines. When you park in two spots it makes me want to key your effing car, zig zag style not just on line... Zig zag beeeyoootch, ziggggga zaaaagga (I hope you read that as cool as it sounded in my head). So, you have a brand new car, huh, you want to protect it as long as possible- great don't drive it, leave it at home in the garage. It already depreciated 30 percent, what's a few dings here and there? Now, let's make a few exceptions: if your car is older than I am, and restored, if your car is worth more than $85K, if you are older than 85**, and if you are parked in the furthest possibly spot. Then and only then will you have a pass. I think from now on I will become, super zig zag man, and travel around in my cape and key cars that are not following the rules.... And that is that!

* actually they are 18s but he keeps em really clean.
** if you are over 85 you can do whatever you want.
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