some ideas and random thought streams. nothing more than me being bored and having the ability to post. i try to keep it simple. not much politics nor religion.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Worst date ever.

Let's think back to the mid 90s. The end of my first year of college. Just a quick bit of background. I went to a PSU sattelite campus for two years before going to main campus. While living at home I worked my tail off, I was working 40 hours per week at a supermarket (food store) and had a full load of classes. I knew if I put the work in for two years and got my GPA up and my bank account up that the next two years would be time that I would never forget. I worked all different shifts from overnight crew, to early am produce, to mid shift anything I could get my hands on. If someone called out sick they called me, I did it all and never turned down extra work, ever. The great thing was I was in a union, so each time I learned something more I got paid more. Ok, to get to the point. Her name was heather, and she was smoooookin hot. I am talking top 3 in the school, and she was really nice really really nice, and I asked her out. She agreed, and that is where it went down hill fast. That Friday night I worked till about 10, got home went to bed around 11:30am and was up at 4am to cover early morning produce. I worked till about two and after grabbing some roses from the flower section I headed home. No cell phones back then so when I got home I called Heather to make sure she set something up, sure stop at a friends house and then a late movie. We were seeing Bram Strokers Dracula at 10pm. What? 10pm I need a effing nap STAT. Of course with my mom, dad and brother at home no nappy poo was gonna happen for good old pj. This is before redbull, so I was up the creek. Gonna be a long night, yet gonna be worth it.

I picked her up in the fly Subaru gl 4 door sedan (that's how I rolled), brought the roses with me to the door and everything was super smooth. I knew this was going well. Off to her friends house and meeting a few peeps. Well, this one guy was such an A-hole and just kept making comments and stuff under his breath. We both noticed this and it was pretty uncomfortable. Most likely an ex or just someone who had a crush. . I think we were there for maybe ten minutes or so before I said it was time to go. She was down to leave and we grabbed a bite before the movie. All was going well, arm touching laughing, smiles, looking into each others eyes. Then I felt a tickle in my throat. We got to the movie, I grabbed a large cherry coke. Ahemmmm, grrr grrr... Working it out. Sip of soda, AHEMMMM, tickle tickle... Ahemm. Large gulp of soda. Ahemmm, nothing. We find our seats in a packed theatre. Ahemm... Tickle tickle tickle... I knew this was not going good, in fact I knew that I was in a crash and burn situation here. AHEM AHEMMMM AHEMM!!! I think I got it, all the while she is glancing over towards me with a quizical look on her face, what is going on. Now I start to chit chat and smile, tickle tickle ticke - WTF. My little ahemmms went on for about 45 minutes, the guy in front of me kept looking back at me like I had any control of the situation. Luckily, my head started to bob a bit, oh shit I am so tired. Ahem, head bob, ahem, eyes closing, ahem, no no no, ahem... WE ARE GOING DOWN. The next thing I remember was good old heather tapping me on the shoulder, shit I actually feel asleep on a date. What a loser. We drove home, me ahemming and her bored. Smooth. I walked her to the door and said good night. No attempt at a hug, kiss, or even a high five - I was way too embarrased to make a move, and probably had some nasty morning breath. Brutal. Hope your worst is better than my worst.
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